So long, farewell, auf weidersehen....

Photo by Aidan Jones, courtesy of Skelliwag.org

Lately, my life has felt a great deal like this picture - madly spinning plates in an effort to keep them all balanced.  Nothing has changed too greatly, but it seems that the "everyday" stuff has gotten to be more complicated, requiring more attention.  So, seeing as how I am not doing any sort of a decent job with this blog, I'm letting this one go.

I started this blog with the intention of it being a place for me to vent, let out the stuff I otherwise can't, and generally just record my rambling thoughts.  Rather than that, it feels like a wobbly plate that I have to return to spinning every so often, needing attention on a semi-regular basis but not getting enough.  I don't need to feel any more guilt in my life for neglecting things (I have plenty, thanks - if you want some, I've enough to share) so at the ripe old age of I'm taking to heart one of those lessons I heard over and over as a kid....If you can't do a job right, don't do it at all.

Thanks for listening to the rambles for the last little while - see you all around at your blogs or elsewhere on the 'net!

Why diabetes really IS a great, big, fat, awful deal

As the parent of a child with diabetes, I've heard a lot of comments over the last almost-five years regarding the ease with which diabetes should be "managed", and that I am far too wrapped up in trying to care for our daughter.  When she was diagnosed, I didn't know much a whole lot about diabetes except what I'd learned in school and from seeing my brother and FIL deal with Type 2.   Most comments are well-intentioned, even if they are not particularly knowledgeable.  The vast majority of people assume that with Type 1, a shot or two of insulin can be given and everything is just fine (or that it is controllable with diet, or that they will grow out of it, or that some magical elixir sold on the internet at $39 a bottle will cure them - but I digress).  Unfortunately, a shot or two is far from being all a person with Type 1 requires on a daily basis to be well.  

In the last few weeks, we PoCWDs (parents of children with diabetes) have gotten the devastating news of 2 young men passing away due to complications of Type 1 diabetes. One young man apparently died of DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis), which develops as a result of very high blood glucose levels.  The second went to bed, and sometime during the night his blood glucose went very low. He was gone when his mother went to wake him in the morning.  

Both were young men (14) who had been dealing with diabetes for the majority of their life.  Both were from families who were knowledgeable in treatment, involved in the diabetes community, and devoted to keeping their boys healthy.  The bottom line in these tragedies is that A PARENT IS NOT A PANCREAS.  No matter how hard we try, diabetes is not a static condition.  There are literally dozens of factors affecting in our childrens' bodies at any given time - growth, illness in various stages, stress, fear, allergies, high fat meals, low fat meals, changes in the weather (heat/cold), amount of activity in a given day, and so many more that aren't even identifiable.  We can poke fingers day and night, give shots, give snacks, raise money for research towards a cure.....and they can STILL DIE.

Rest in peace, Jesse and Trent.  You will be mourned, and you will be missed.

I haven't posted anything for quite a while now. Every time I think, "Gee, I really should update my blog", my brain goes completely blank. Somehow, I just don't feel as if I have anything to say, or at least nothing that's worth the bandwidth space to say it.

So, I'm just here to let you know that I'm still around, doing all the things I normally do, and things at Chez Rambling are rambling along as usual....I just have a big empty space where the blogging ideas might once have been.  Maybe that space is just full of the spillover from all the rest of the parts of my brain - family, work, diabetes - because those parts have most definitely been overflowing lately.

Perhaps I will find myself full of blog-worthy thoughts and information again sometime soon.
Perhaps not.   I decided not to stress out about it, because really, who needs more stress?

Love, peace, understanding, and a chocolate bar bigger than my head. (My favorite Facebook Flair lately)  Definitely need those more than I need more stress.

How to let go?

My daughter is nearly 13.  As such, she is an expert in EVERYTHING, and I, the idiot formerly known as "mommy", have absolutely no understanding of anything whatsoever.

She also has had type 1 diabetes for 4 1/2 years.  In that time, I, the idiot formerly known as "mommy", have become fairly well versed in amateur endocrinology.  I read, I listen, I watch, I ask questions, and though I can't claim to have any control over diabetes, I think I have a fairly decent working knowledge of what it does to her.

Dear daughter has decided that THIS is the hill on which she will make her stand. Even the mere mention of a blood sugar check from me sends her into a frenzy of eye-rolling, huffing, and grumbling under her breath at me. So I have been instructed to pull back.  Let it go.  LET.  IT.  GO.  Let her be in charge and allow the consequences to evolve.






YEAH, RIGHT.  HOW EXACTLY AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT????

I'm trying. I've given over most of the responsibility to the Dear Husband....a wonderful guy, but he's not doing it my way and it makes me want to pull my hair out.....there's nothing wrong with his way, exactly - it's just NOT MY WAY.   Control freak, much?  Yes, thanks for asking.

Here's the kicker.  She wanted to stop going to the nurse for BG checks and bolusing at school. Okaaaayyy....she came up with a plan that she thought she could stick to, and we gave her a week to try.



Well, she didn't stick to it.  Days without testing - she bolused for lunch, at least, but no checks.  Crapola.

So my solution is "fine, don't go to the nurse, but wear your Freestyle Navigator Continuous Glucose Monitoring System" (also known as mom's little sanity saver - I HEART the cgm).  
Hysterics ensue.  Reasons, rational and not-so-rational, fly around the room like crazed hummingbirds, all punctuated by sobs and hiccups.  Sigh.  What's a "stepping back from it all" mom to do?


I'm thinking running away and joining the circus might be in my future.  I'll send a postcard.

Education and misinformation

There's been quite a bit of chatter in the diabetes community during the last couple of days regarding today's Oprah show devoted to "America's Silent Killer", diabetes.  Many were very hopeful that she and Dr. Oz would share helpful, correct information that differentiated between Types 1, 2, MODY, gestational.....since there isn't just ONE type of diabetes.

I will be honest and say that I did NOT have great expectations, because in general any time you hear a show promoting "DIABETES", everything is geared towards Type 2 with no distinctions made.  As such, I did not set the DVR to record the show.

Reading the comments on the Oprah.com site and from the D-Moms via Facebook, it seems that my low expectations may have been too lofty.  SIGH......  Now millions of people have heard Dr. Oz and Oprah say that if diabetics would just stop drinking pop and eating "white carbs", they'd be all better!  Double sigh.....
Apparently there was one brief mention of the differences between Type 1 and Type 2 partway into the show, but they were never differentiated clearly.

To say that all forms of diabetes are the same and should be treated in one way is like saying all forms of cancer are the same and should be treated with the same methods.  Oh, except you really don't ever hear someone telling a person with cancer that it was THEIR fault - if they just hadn't eaten that donut or had they exercised just a little more, their brain tumor wouldn't have developed.  I suppose people with lung cancer do get that blame put on them (if you'd just not smoked all those ciggies), but there are people who have lung cancer who've never smoked a single puff, just as there are people with diabetes who have never been obese, have eaten healthy diets and exercised - but still have the damned disease.  (pardon my French)

So to HELP spread the word about Type 1, please go to Mark Sanchez's Pepsi Refresh Project   and vote to help Mark and JDRF teach schools, teachers and children about the signs and symptoms of Type 1.
Let's try to spread the TRUTH about Type 1 diabetes instead of the Oprah-ized version.

Hello, February

My goodness, it's been a while! Sorry for the lack of posts....life has been crazy normal around here,
which means not getting a whole lot of things done.  I seem to get a little bit of everything taken care of, but nothing is done completely.  Oh, well, I'm not as Type A as I need to be, apparently. :)

Hmmm, so what's been going on around here.....
Arizona was slammed by an enormous winter storm last week.  We had an incredible amount of rain here
in the valley ("of the sun", ha) and the northern half of the state was covered in several feet of snow.  Schools and businesses were closed for days - how come when *I* went to NAU, we never had a snow day?  (Oh, that's right - because snow hadn't been invented yet.)  I spent the weekend in Prescott with some friends, and we had a FABULOUS time, even though I seemingly became a Weeble and was unable to stay upright in the snow.  Of course, I was informed that Weebles wobble but they DON'T fall down...but fall down I did!
Pics may be forthcoming, when I get them from the Official Photographer.  :) 

Things on the school front are not looking good.  This state is NOT supportive of public education, and it's looking like class sizes will be going UP (again) and pay will be going DOWN, most likely significantly.  Oh, and insurance costs are projected to go up about 30%.  If my salary is cut by the amount that other districts are cutting (anywhere from 15% to 40%!!) I may end up owing money to the district by the time all my deductions are taken out. :(   In this economy, I am grateful to have employment and I am even more grateful for the insurance benefits, but to be completely honest, the idea of working harder and not having any take-home money is really, really discouraging.  Part time job, anyone? 

Diabetes continues to throw a monkey wrench into things.  Miss M will have a day or two of lows followed by a day or two of 200+ readings that refuse to come back down.  I have stepped away from the majority of d-care tasks, as they had become a major source of contention between Miss M and I.  The DH is now designated d-care-parent.....how hard has it been for me to let go, you ask?  Well, do you know me at all?  I have a minor little control-freak streak.....just a little one.   He's doing fine - perhaps not doing things the way I would do it, but the peace between  my daughter and I is SO worth the nail-biting I have to do.  

Mr. Boy is growing taller every day...it won't be long until he passes me by.  (go ahead, those of you that know me - say it.  Passing me in height isn't that much of a challenge...)  They are both growing so fast!

Back to school!

It's hard to believe that Winter Break is already ending....two weeks flew right past.
I am amazed at how much I thought I would get done, and how much *actually* got done.  Funnily enough, the two don't quite match.

The husband is recovering nicely from his gallbladder surgery, the kids made it through without causing each other too much bodily harm, and I got a lot of reading and relaxing accomplished - all in all, I suppose it was a nice break.

I'm sorry to say that for some friends, break wasn't so wonderful - Kelly's dad has had surgery, as has Shamae.  I will be keeping them both in my prayers.

Happy 2010 to one and all; here's hoping for a year of good health and prosperity for everyone!